I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
