Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and she was petting her beer can
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He better not be in your backpack
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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