My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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