i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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