Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
