This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
