the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
