Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
