new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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