Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
