Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize