About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize