I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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