My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
