none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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