Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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