Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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