Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
