I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
