i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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