so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize