i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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