You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
