we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
