he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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