Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
