i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
