Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
