Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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