I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
