the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
