So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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