Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We got so high we made milksteak
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
