Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry carpe09noctem hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!

Fav 26 1122 2506
share tweet
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

Fav 18 3533 919
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(856): View more from New Jersey

i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

Fav 45 4717 1635
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

Fav 17 4385 1425
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

Fav 3 4878 820
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

Fav 3 3947 1137
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

Fav 12 5286 1329
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.

Fav 0 313 233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out

Fav 0 29 59
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT