I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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