she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
