She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
