I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
