"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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