And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
