Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
