I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
