I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
These tits shall not be calmed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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