I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
wow bdsm is so cute
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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