He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sponge bath it is.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
