i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
