seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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