Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
