Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
