# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I would ride that face into the sunset
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
