I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
