fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
