i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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