the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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