Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
