Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
