so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
